Y! Music Weekly Music News Recap

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1. The Greatest Love Of All… - …is apparently not between Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, who are splitting up.
2. It’s A Boy, Y’all! - Britney and K-Fed produce another male heir to the Spederline empire.
3. Rock Star Gets A Dose Of Reality - A judge has ordered Tommy Lee’s reality-TV band, Supernova, to change its name.
4. Tupac Shakur, 1971-1996 - Beyonce, Rick Ross, and others fondly remember the slain rap legend in Y! Music’s special Tupac tribute.
5. Gettin’ Riddy Of Diddy - Much like Supernova, Sean Combs must undergo a court-ordered name change.
6. Controversial Chick Flick Premieres - Natalie Maines doesn’t beat around the Bush in the new Dixie Chicks documentary.
7. Marianne Faithfull Diagnosed With Breast Cancer - Luckily, the notorious rock queen–who’s surivived far worse than this–is expected to make a full recovery.
8. Guess Who’s Back - A post-rehab Eminem makes his triumphant return on a new mixtape.
9. Liza Minelli Back In Divorce Court - If David Gest has his way, Liza-with-a-Z might soon be Liza-with-no-money.
10. How Can We Miss Him If He Won’t Go Away? - Jay-Z’s coming out of retirement. Again.

Perhaps this week’s most crushing, psyche-shattering news is that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have fallen victim to the same curse that claimed the marriages of other reality-TV couples like Nick & Jessica, Travis & Shannna, and Carmen & Dave. Yes, the beloved stars of Being Bobby Brown are divorcing after 14 years of domestic squabbles, Jerusalem pilgrimages, court appearances, prison stints, and–if we are to believe one memorable scene from their TV show–disturbingly close interactions with each other’s bowel movements. Oh, hell to the no…we assumed a union that had survived that sort of crap (pun intended) would last forever, so we’re heartbroken that Whitney has told Bobby to “kiss my ass!” Almost as heartbroken as we are about the realization that there will now be no season 2 of Being Bobby Brown. Now, that is wack…

OK, on to related news…related because a) Britney Spears once covered Bobby Brown’s hit “My Prerogative”; b) Britney and her babydaddy Kevin Federline chronicled their relationship on their own reality show, Chaotic; and c) well, “Britney” rhymes with “Whitney.” How’s that for synergy, huh? Anyhoo, Britney popozao’d out a second Spederline spawn this week (only days before her other son Sean Preston’s first birthday), and, as of this writing, her exceedingly fertile man K-Fed has not yet knocked up her for a third time. But hey, give these two rabbit-like breeders a few weeks and check back for an update on that. Meanwhile, Britney and her lesser half have their work cut out for them, avoiding that dreaded reality-TV curse while trying to juggle parenthood, careers, and multiple baby carseats. We wish them luck…

And finally, on the subject of reality TV, our congrats go out to skunk-striped Rock Star champ Lukas Rossi, who beat out fearsome fan favorite Dilana to become the new lead singer of….um, er, well, that’s to be determined. See, Lukas, who winningly sang “Bittersweet Symphony” on Rock Star’s finale this week, ended up having a bittersweet victory when a judge decided that the band that just hired Lukas, Supernova, must change its name. (Another band called Supernova existed in the ’90s, a fact that Rock Star producer Mark Burnett pompously and possibly illegally chose to ignore.) But the point is, after an hour-long, court-injunctioned broadcast during which all participants awkwardly avoided uttering the word “Supernova,” Lukas ultimately landed his dream gig rocking out alongside Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke, and Jason Newstead. So may we suggest they rename this project the Lee-Clarke-Rossi-Newstead Experience? That has a nice ring to it…

OK, much like Whitney and Bobby, we have to split. But come back next Friday, and until then, goodnight, and good music.

Lyndsey Parker
Yahoo! Music