Y! Music Weekly News Recap

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1. Almost Divorced - Actress Kate Hudson splits from her rocker husband, Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson.
2. The Mellon Collie & Infinite Sadness Are Finally Over - Smashing Pumpkins have officially reunited!
3. Lil’ Wayne May Head To The Big House - The rapper is arrested on drug charges.
4. Germans Disapprove Of Madonna’s American Life - Madge’s concert crucifixion draws the ire of das police.
5. Christina’s Ex-Producer Fights Dirrty - He declares Back To Basics is an “album full of fillers, over-singing, and lame Vegas-like cabaret music.”
6. Montgomery Gentry: Bearly Legal - Federal officials accuse the country duo’s singer of shooting an innocent bear.
7. Get Ready For Celebrity Duets! - Our dreams of a Michael Bolton/Alfonso Ribeiro pairing will finally be realized on Simon Cowell’s new talent show.
8. Darkness Singer Gets One-Way Ticket…To Rehab - Apparently Justin Hawkins doesn’t believe in a thing called sobriety.
9. Illegal Sigel? - Cops claim Beanie is lying about the circumstances under which he was shot.
10. Justin Timberlake Not A Member Of The Soul Patrol - J.T. disses Taylor Hicks in a controversial interview.

Hello, and welcome back to another edition of Top Events. If you’re a regular T.E. reader, then you know that so far, this season has not exactly been the summer of love. Between Paul and Heather, Heather and Richie, Nicole Richie and DJ AM, Paris and Paris, Carmen and Dave, Travis and Shanna, Eminem and Kim, and Prince and, um, Mrs. Prince–not to mention those persistent rumors of an impending Britney/K-Fed divorce and the recent release of Nick Lachey’s Jessica-centric breakup album–nary a week has gone by without some mention of a celebrity split. And hey, this week is no different! The latest rock ‘n’ roll couple to call it quits is, somewhat unsurprisingly, Almost Famous actress Kate Hudson and her lushly bearded husband of six years, Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson. (Conveniently for us, this announcement neatly and surely, purely coincidently comes the same week that we’re offering an exclusive Black Crowes download in YMU. We couldn’t buy advertising like that!) Anyhoo, reliable source Us Weekly reports that homewrecking heartthrob Owen Wilson (Kate’s co-star in You, Me & Dupree) is to blame for the Robinsons’ martial collapse. Which, of course, brings new meaning to Owen’s reputation as a wedding crasher…

But don’t worry–all is not lost. Luckily, summer ‘06 will bring forth a whole new slew of celebrity twosomes that sound like true matches made in pop heaven to us. See, in an attempt to fill the gaping void left in Fox’s programming schedule after the finale of So You Think You Can Dance (congrats to Benji, by the way), mad genius Simon Cowell has returned to the airwaves with what we’ve already decided is our new favorite TV show, Celebrity Duets. Yes, Simon has come up with the bright idea to team seasoned singers (Smokey Robinson, Dionne Warwick, Patti LaBelle, Chaka Khan, Aaron Neville) with golden-throated, B-minus-list celebs (Cheech Marin, Lucy “Xena” Lawless, Queer Eye fifth wheel Jai Rodriguez, Hal Sparks, Lea Thompson) for what will hopefully be the most compelling televised trainwreck duets since the infamous Meat Loaf/Katharine McPhee and Clay Aiken/Michael Sandecki pairings on this year’s American Idol finale. Seriously, if there’s any reality show that will make us switch the channel from VH1’s craptastic Flavor Of Love, it’s gonna be Celebrity Duets. Heck, even Justin Timberlake, who trashed American Idol in the press this week, might watch this show. We smell an Emmy…

OK, much like Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson, we have to split. But come back next Friday for more amusing, bemusing, and downright confusing music news. Until then, goodnight, and good music.

Lyndsey Parker
Yahoo! Music