Yahoo! Music Weekly Music News Recap

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1. All You Need Is Locks - Paul’s future ex-wife is no longer welcome at the McCartney mansion.
2. They’re Not Okay? - My Chemical Romance are involved in a mysterious accident.
3. Kanye West Gets Engaged - Let’s hope his bride isn’t a gold-digger!
4. So They Think They Can Dance - Christina Aguilera fans bust a move in a new amateur tribute video.
5. Travis Barker Splits With Wife Shanna Moakler - Apparently the Blink 182 drummer doesn’t take his band’s song “Stay Together For The Kids” very literally.
6. Who Will Be The Next William Hung? - Thousands of wannabes audition for American Idol’s sixth season.
7. Hawthorne Heights Not Saying Sorry - The emo darlings issue a manifesto against their record label.
8. Pussycat Dolls Fined For Indecency - Malaysian authorities obviously do not wish their girlfriends were hot like PCD.
9. Miss Jackson Poses Topless For Vibe - Those who missed Janet’s Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction have another chance to see her bust out.
10. Duran Duran Get A Life - They leave Planet Earth and the Ordinary World behind for a virtual universe on Second Life.

Well, this week for Heather Mills, the long and winding road led to Paul McCartney’s securely bolted door. Yes, despite Paul’s numerous blog posts insisting that his split from his second wife is completely amicable, things seem to be getting to get ugly in the Maccas’ world. First, penny-pinching Paul allegedly froze his joint bank account with Heather, and wrote a letter to her complaining about three bottles of cleaning liquid that she took from his house. Then the future former Mrs. McCartney came home to find that her estranged hubby had actually changed the locks on his doors. And finally, when Heather–the woman that many tabloids are now dubbing the one-legged bandit–subsequently broke in to the ex-Beatle’s locked home, both the police and the paparazzi fled to the scene in droves. Now the warring couple have reportedly hired the same lawyers who handled the multi-billion-dollar divorce between Prince Charles and Princess Diana. So, will Heather’s high-profile attorney be able to secure a few more bottles Mr. Clean and Lemon Pledge in her divorce settlement? We’ll give you all the dirt later on…

Of course, the Mills-McCartney divorce isn’t the only celebrity split making headlines this week. Former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and his Playmate wife of less than two years, Shanna Moakler–the rock ‘n’ roll odd couple whose supposedly happy union was once chronicled on basic cable’s Meet The Barkers–have also decided that, well, they’d like to meet other people. But to be honest, given the unexciting existence they led on their incredibly uneventful reality show (which was only slightly more compelling than a test pattern), it’s no surprise that the magic soon died for these newlyweds, just as it did for Barkers viewers by episode 2…

However, the most vicious breakup of the week is actually the one between Ohio emo band Hawthorne Heights and their label, Victory Records. Following similarly acrimonious exoduses by former Victory bands Thursday and Taking Back Sunday, this week Hawthorne Heights blasted Victory honcho Tony Brummel on their website–calling him “a man that cares more about his ego and bank account than the bands themselves” and claiming they had nothing to do with the Victory’s controversial anti-Ne-Yo campaign (Ne-Yo’s debut album came out the same day as Hawthorne’s latest, much to Brummel’s chagrin). The band finally declared, “We’re done being abused.” Wow, seems like Ohio is for haters, huh? So, will more Victory bands speak up? Will Brummel defend his business practices? Heck, will Brummel hire Princess Di’s lawyer to sort out this mess? We’ll just have to follow this feud to find out…

OK, much like the couples above, we have to split. But come back next Friday, and until then, goodnight, and good music.

Lyndsey Parker
Yahoo! Music