Y! Music Weekly Music News Recap

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1. Avril Lavigne’s Happy Ending – The sk8er bride marries Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley.
2. Nothing’s Shocking – Surprise: Jane’s Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro has split with Carmen Electra.
3. Pamela Anderson Finally Gets A Piece Of The Rock – Pam and Kid Rock’s long-delayed wedding is back on schedule.
4. Jessica Simpson Gets Personal – She’s literally calling out your name in her new personalized downloads.
5. Design Of Two Decades – Janet Jackson seeks an artistic fan to create the cover for her new album, 20 Years Old.
6. Unreleased Dylan Tracks Are Blowin’ The Wind – Samples from Bob’s upcoming new album accidentally end up online.
7. Oops! The Tabloids Did It Again – Apparently reports of Britney and K-Fed’s divorce were greatly exaggerated.
8. And The “World’s Shortest Retirement” Award Goes To… – Jay-Z, who’s reportedly about to release his “comeback” album.
9. Justin Timberlake Releases New Video – And by that, we unfortunately mean his straight-to-video acting debut.
10. Eminem Takes A Bathroom Break – We knew Marshall had a potty mouth, but this is ridiculous!

Hello, and welcome to a special marriage-minded edition of Top Events. First, our congrats go out to punk-pop’s cutest Canadian couple, Avril Lavigne and Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley (or “Avryck,” as they will henceforth be known), who were married this week in a fairytale wedding that included a pouffy Vera Wang gown, pink chiffon bridesmaid dresses, and a romantic first dance to the Goo Goo Dolls‘ “Iris.” Um, chiffon? Vera Wang? Goo Goo Dolls??? That doesn’t sound very punk-rock, Avryck. We were kind of expecting (nay, hoping) you two crazy kids would waltz to the Dead Kennedys‘ “Too Drunk To F–k,” exchange his ‘n’ hers facial piercings in a pagan ceremony, and dress your entire wedding party in custom-ordered Hot Topic formal wear…

You know, maybe we’re just confusing the Avryck nuptials with the 2003 rock ‘n’ roll wedding of guitarist-for-hire/Rock Star: Supernova emcee Dave Navarro and strippercize spokesbody Carmen Electra. This edgy couple started out so very promisingly–sending out save-the-date cards that featured a tasteful David LaChapelle photograph of the PVC-clad bride and groom posing as corpses in a morgue–but sadly, now it’s their marriage that’s DOA. Well, at least their love lasted longer than Carmen’s annulled, alcohol-induced marriage to Dennis Rodman…or Dave’s stint in the Red Hot Chili Peppers, for that matter. We wish these two suddenly single celebs much luck with whomever they hook up with next…

And now for some related news–related because a) it’s about marriage and b) it involves Carmen Electra’s former Baywatch castmate Pamela Anderson, who c) also happens to be the former wife of Rock Star’s Tommy Lee. (How’s that for synergy?) Yes, Pamela is finally going to let her on/off/on fiancé Kid Rock make an honest woman out of her, when the Stacked star and Cocky Kid get hitched next week in St. Tropez. And knowing what experience these two lovebirds have in the burgeoning amateur sex-tape field (Pam with Tommy; Kid with, er, Scott Stapp), we simply can’t wait to see the honeymoon footage…

OK, much like Carmen and Dave, we’re about to split–but before we do, we’d like send our well-wishes to another newlywed, Savage Garden’s Darren Hayes, who just tied the knot with his longtime boyfriend. (That story didn’t quite make this week’s Top Events–it surely would have if our list went to 11–but you can read it here.) Congrats, fellas. May you stay truly madly deeply in love forever…or least until next Friday, when we come back with another week’s worth of juicy news. Peace out!

Lyndsey Parker
Yahoo! Music