Y! Music Weekly Music News Recap

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1. Nicole Kidman’s Urban Renewal - The former Mrs. Cruise is about to upgrade with husband #2, country star Keith.
2. The Fur Flies At Beyonce Dinner - Apparently the animal-rights group PETA thinks Miss Knowles is a naughty girl.
3. The Dixie Chicks’ Anti-Patriot Act - Guess they’re still not ready to make nice.
4. Matisyahu Faces Off With The Police - The Hasidic reggae star covers “Message In A Bottle” in the Y! Music studio.
5. Katharine McPhee Admits To Eating Disorder - The Idol finalist spills her guts (no pun intended, seriously) to People magazine.
6. Warrant Issued For Boy George’s Arrest - Seems the judge really wants to hurt him.
7. Drunk Richard Ashcroft Crashes Youth Club - Much like Wu-Tang’s Ol’ Dirty Bastard, the rambling ex-Verve man claims he is for the children.
8. When Divas Attack - Is Madonna starting a feud with Mariah?
9. Radiohead’s Thom Yorke “Confused” By Bush Daughter - The Hail To The Thief singer finds out he has a fan in the First Family.
10. Top Of The Pops Bottoms Out - Britain’s legendary music show is cancelled after a four-decade run.

We live in sad times, people. There was an era, not so long ago, when a pop star and her semi-famous sister could enjoy a five-star sushi meal in peace. But unfortunately, those days are over. This week, poor Beyonce and Solange Knowles were obliviously munching away on their rainbow rolls at Manhattan’s Nobu, when suddenly their two dinner guests–who had won the pleasure of the Knowles sisters’ company in an eBay charity auction–began lecturing them on the evils of fur, a much-used material in Beyonce’s fashion line. Seems they were card-carrying members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). D’oh! Mama Knowles, who was also present, quickly ushered the two animal-lovin’ agitators out of the restaurant, but not before the whole ruckus was captured on camera for TMZ.com. Meanwhile, no one seemed to be crusading on behalf of the many innocent eels, tunas, salmon, yellowtails, and smelt eggs that are tragically slaughtered at Nobu every day. And you call that justice, PETA? Sheesh…

Speaking of justice–or a lack thereof–former Verve frontman Richard Ashcroft kindly offered his services at a youth center in England this week, and guess how this unusually generous rock star was rewarded for his philanthropy? He was arrested, that’s how. OK, sure, he was reportedly plastered, incoherent, and in tears. And yeah, he refused to leave the youth club when nicely asked. And maybe he scared a few children. But still, this guy said he wanted to work with kids and “do good things”! Sigh. Apparently no drunken good deed goes unpunished…

Moving on to an admittedly completely unrelated matter, the latest celebrity feud–following 50 Cent vs. the Game, the Killers vs. the Bravery, Lindsay vs. Jessica, Paris vs. Nicole, and Fall Out Boy vs., um, pretty much everyone–is the faceoff between almighty pop queens Madonna and Mariah Carey. Rumors are flying that Madonna, whose Confessions tour is a massive success, is laughing her tiny, well-toned ass off regarding the worse-than-Glitter ticket sales for Mariah’s under-performing Adventures Of Mimi tour. Girls, girls–can’t we all just get along? Obviously, there’s only one way to settle your differences: a pay-per-view, Jello-wrestling cage match. All proceeds from this event should of course go to either the Eel/Tuna/Salmon/Yellowtail Relief Fund or the Free Richard Ashcroft Campaign…

All right, time to wrap up, but do come back next Friday for more amusing and bemusing music news. Until then, goodnight, and good music.
Lyndsey Parker
Yahoo! Music