Y! Music Weekly Music News Recap

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1. Divorcing McCartneys: We Can’t Work It Out – Apparently Heather will not be needing or feeding Paul when he’s 64.
2. Keith Urban And Nicole Kidman Unite To Form Superior Gene Pool – The country crooner and movie star announce plans to wed.
3. Snoop Dogg: Britain’s Least Wanted – The rapper is banned from the U.K. forever.
4. New Yorke – Radiohead’s frontman Thom is releasing a solo album. He just doesn’t want you to call it a solo album, OK?
5. Oops, She Did It Again – Britney Spears still doesn’t quite know how to use a baby carseat.
6. DMX’s Ruff Ride – The X-man is arrested after refusing to buckle up for a flight.
7. Kylie Minogue Returns – The Aussie pop phenom is planning her post-cancer comeback.
8. Bo Knows Audioslave – Idol’s rockin’ runner-up Bo Bice performs “Doesn’t Remind Me” for Y! Music.
9. Lady Sovereign’s Not-So-Secret Admirer – One fan launches an Internet campaign for a dream date with the British rap star.
10. A New Baby Spice – Ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell gives birth to a daughter.

This week’s report is all about the cycle of life. See, as one door closes (Paul McCartney and Heather Mills calling it quits), another door opens (Nicole Kidman replacing her former hubby Tom Cruise with notably less, um, eccentric new fiancé Keith Urban–who’s never jumped up on a sofa to profess his love, but is surely quite fond of Nicole just the same). And of course, the cycle of life continues literally this week, with ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell giving birth to her own little wannabe and the almost equally faded pop star Britney Spears continuing to carry yet another Kevin Federline spawn…

Speaking of which, hopefully Britney will have this whole parenting thing down by the time baby #2 arrives–especially when she gets behind the wheel. At least now she’s remembering to strap little Sean Preston into his carseat, but recent paparazzi pics reveal she still isn’t placing the seat in its recommended rear-facing position. Doesn’t she know seatbelts save lives? Well, maybe she’s just trying to be all tough and keep it gangsta like rapper DMX, who was arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport this week after refusing to fasten his seatbelt on a transatlantic flight. However, much like Britney when concerned child welfare authorities visited her a couple months ago, DMX got off with just a warning this time. Too bad the same can’t be said about DMX’s hip-hop peer Snoop Dogg, whose own recent Heathrow brawl just got him permanently kicked out of U.K…

And just to prove that there’s some credence to this whole cycle-of-life theory, we’ll come full circle and wrap up with a story that incorporates hip-hop, pop, England, and even the Spice Girls. See, it seems British pop/rap sensation Lady Sovereign–who bears an uncanny resemblance to Melanie “Sporty Spice” Chisholm and was once (falsely) rumored to be Mel C’s illegitimate daughter–is being courted online by an intrepid (and hopefully harmless) fan named Zach Slow. Zach has launched a website, helpmegetrandonwithladysovereign.com, for the sole purpose of raising money to take Lady Sov out on a date–and the upside is, if Sov turns down his invite, he can always use the 700 or so dollars he’s raised thus far to hire an attorney. He’s going to need one to defend him against those stalking charges…

OK, our time is up, but do make sure to come back next Friday for a full Taylor-versus-Kat Idol report, plus a look at whatever non-Idol news takes up slots 2 through 10 next week. Seacrest out!

Lyndsey Parker
Yahoo! Music